Being a Surrogate for two dads: What is it like?
When considering becoming a Gestational Carrier, many women may assume that they will be carrying for heterosexual couples struggling with fertility issues. Although that is certainly a common scenario, there are a growing number of same-sex couples who have a strong desire to become parents and an increasing demand for surrogates who will carry for them. While the type of couple a surrogate decides to carry for is a personal preference, the decision to be a surrogate for two dads can be a fulfilling and beautiful journey with some added positives to consider.
With two dads, roles and responsibilities between the surrogate and intended parents are often well-defined, making the arrangement clear and straightforward. This can contribute to a smoother and more organized surrogacy journey, as well as more streamlined decision-making. Oftentimes the intended dads will put their full trust in the surrogate’s expertise being a woman who has gone through her own pregnancy, and empower her to make medical decisions, lifestyle and diet choices, schedule her own doctor’s appointments as well as other aspects of the pregnancy.
Compared to surrogacy for an intended mother, being a surrogate for two dads can often involve fewer boundaries to establish and less time to build trust. While journeys with intended mothers can be wonderful and fulfilling experiences, roles and expectations may take more time to build and develop due to infertility trauma of her own. Being a surrogate for two dads is often a collaborative effort where everyone values each other’s contributions and they often defer to the surrogate and empower her to make the best decisions.
Having two dads can provide a strong and supportive environment throughout the journey, showering the surrogate with compliments, positivity and emotional and practical support. They are often willing to go above and beyond to create an uplifting atmosphere and be extremely supportive from the get go. The mutual respect, excitement and support between the surrogate and intended dads can build a strong connection and bond that creates a lasting relationship well beyond the pregnancy journey.
Making the selfless decision to be a surrogate for any family dynamic and helping them realize their dream of becoming parents is a beautiful and rewarding journey in itself. While every gestational carrier will have to make the personal decision of her preference when working with intended parents, there are definitely perks to being the woman in two intended dad’s lives!
